Dean Martin said it best: “You’re nobody ’til somebody loves you.” But these days, finding that special person to share your life with can be a challenging proposition, particularly if you’re no longer in your twenties.
Is there any way to find an honest-to-goodness, real, live woman to date that doesn’t involve online dating or trolling clubs or bars until you get known as “that creepy old guy”?
Dating sites are all well and good for some, but there’s something to be said for the interpersonal connection that comes from speaking to another human being face-to-face. And, let’s be honest, dating profiles can be extremely misleading, as you probably already know.
So how do you find a girlfriend in this impersonal, digital age? Is it even possible to find a girlfriend without online dating?
Well, don’t despair just yet. Below are a few simple tips to keep in mind that might save you a lot of unnecessary frustration as you look for that special someone to share your life with.
With that in mind, let’s talk about how to find a girlfriend without online dating.
1. Don’t Try To Be Something You’re Not
I know, “be yourself” is the most cliched and overused piece of advice in the history of advice, but I don’t think most people stop to think about what this really means. Sure, it means that you shouldn’t adopt a convenient persona that will please the other person simply for the sake of companionship, but it also means that you shouldn’t frequent places that you wouldn’t normally go, hoping to land a like-minded woman.
If you’re a bookworm or an academic, stay on your own turf. I guess there’s always a chance you’ll discover some diamond in the rough tucked away in the corner of a dive bar. But isn’t it more likely that you’ll meet your future sweetheart while engaged in activities that are actually meaningful to you?
Studies have shown that people who choose to be authentically themselves are more able to overcome adversity, are more confident, and are more willing to be intimate with their partner. The point is, be true to who you are and don’t rush things. Patience really is a virtue.
2. Take Advantage Of Low-Pressure Situations
What are low-pressure situations? Well, there are certain social circumstances which revolve entirely around the opposite sex. Going to a club, drinking, and/or dancing at a popular night spot…these kinds of locations reek of sexual tension. You’re supposed to pick someone up, right?
This means the women you meet who aren’t plastered out of their minds are more likely to be on-guard, and you may feel more self-conscious. So if a girlfriend, and not just casual hookups, is what you want, choose low-pressure situations instead.
A coffee house, a park, a bookstore. All of these locations offer you an opportunity to meet the woman of your dreams. Women are EVERYWHERE, so be open to the possibility of meeting one anywhere and everywhere you go.
3. Don’t Be Afraid To Speak Up
Sometimes it’s easy to get lost in your own head, or in the perceived pressures of the moment. You may have already noticed a girl you’d be interested in dating, but you can’t overcome the internal anxiety that you’re feeling and just talk to her. This is why finding a girlfriend without online dating is often more difficult for many men.
Here’s what you do to get past that: pretend you’re already good friends and that attraction is off the table. Pretend that dating isn’t even an option, and that you wouldn’t date the girl even if she wanted you to. Then, just start talking to her.
This kind of thinking can help nullify social anxiety and can squash the fear or rejection because it takes away the pressure of viewing her as a “potential girlfriend” and instead helps you view her as just another one of your buddies who you talk to all the time.
Saying those first few words is often the hardest part, so if you can get past the fear of the initial approach, you’ll be well on your way to finding the girlfriend you want…and you didn’t even have to resort to online dating to meet her.